Not So Normal Parenting | Enneagram, Myers Briggs, Personality, Neurodivergence, Emotional Intelligence

40 | Is the Enneagram Social Instinct Running Your Life? Unpack FOMO, Reputation, and the Drive to Be Part of the Squad

Wendy Gossett helps parents understand their children by using temperament psychology and neuroscience. She has over 10,000 hours of experience in education, both in the classroom and corporate sector.
Even though she holds a Master’s degree in education, she struggled to understand her neurodivergent and oppositional kids.  Inspired by her experience using Myers Briggs and the Enneagram with business teams, she spent over a decade researching temperament pattens to help family teams. She is a best-selling author and host of the Not So Normal Parenting podcast.
Her podcast is entitled Not So Normal Parenting because not only are she and her kids neurodivergent but some of her life experiences, such as driving off a cliff her wedding night and going viral for embarrassing her seventeen-year old son by dancing on a snowy and jammed interstate, fall into that category. In addition to being talked about by Hoda Kotb, the BackStreet Boys, and Princess Kate, even U2 singer Bono mentioned the incident in his autobiography.
 
Because Wendy herself has struggled as a helicopter parent, a cranky parent and an embarrassing parent, she wants to help other parents struggle……..a little bit less!
In this episode, we continue our series on the Enneagram's instinctual subtypes by focusing on the social instinct—the drive that leads us to connect, belong, and find our place in the world. Social types bring a unique energy to relationships, excelling at creating harmonious environments, whether organizing family events or fostering friendships. We'll explore how to identify social tendencies in yourself, your partner, or your children and understand how this instinct can enrich relationships.
Plus, learn why some Enneagram types with this instinct may not fit the typical descriptions and discover the importance of balancing the social drive with other instincts. Listen in to gain a fresh perspective on the social instinct and its powerful influence on your relationships and sense of self.
Take my FREE child temperament test: https://wendygossett.com/child-inner-drive-assessment-product/
Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com
Facebook Podcast Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61565445936367
Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ
Instagram: Wendy.Gossett

39 | Which of the 3 Enneagram Instincts is Driving You? Meet Self Preservation. Anxiety, Survival, Health and Comfort Routines

Uncover a new layer of the Enneagram as we dive into the incredibly impactful world of the instinctual subtypes. In this episode, we focus on the self-preservation instinct—a survival-driven instinct that influences every part of life, from daily routines to family dynamics. Learn how self-preservation types prioritize safety, comfort, and health, and why they often feel the need to be prepared for any situation. Whether it's turning their home into a cozy sanctuary or meticulously planning for the future, self-preservation types bring a unique sense of stability to their families. We’ll explore how to recognize self-preservation tendencies in yourself, your partner, or your child, and how understanding this instinct can deepen your connections and help manage daily challenges. Plus, find out why some Enneagram types may not resonate with their usual descriptors if they have this subtype. Tune in to unlock insights that could transform your family’s dynamics.
Take my FREE child temperament test: https://wendygossett.com/child-inner-drive-assessment-product/
Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com
Facebook Podcast Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61565445936367
Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ
Instagram: Wendy.Gossett
 

38 | Enneagram Competency Types 1, 3, and 5. The 3 Missing Messages They Need for Emotional Wholeness

In this episode of Not So Normal Parenting, we take a deep dive into the Competency Triad of the Enneagram, focusing on both parents who identify as Type 1 (The Perfectionist), Type 3 (The Achiever), or Type 5 (The Observer), and how to parent children with these types.
Whether you are a Type 1, 3, or 5 yourself or raising a child with these tendencies, you’ll discover how these types push emotions aside to solve problems logically, especially in relation to systems like work, family, or school. We’ll explore the 3 key ways each type strives for competency and how this impacts their approach to life and relationships.
Learn how to manage perfectionism as a Type 1 parent or help your Type 1 child embrace flexibility. Discover how to balance achievement with authenticity as a Type 3, or guide your Type 3 child to value more than just success. Finally, support your own Type 5 need for independence while fostering emotional connection, or help your Type 5 child stay emotionally engaged.
Tune in for real-life stories, practical strategies, and insights to help you and your child thrive within your unique Enneagram types.
PodcastContactInfo
Take my FREE child temperament test: https://wendygossett.com/child-inner-drive-assessment-product/
Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com
Facebook Podcast Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61565445936367
Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ
Instagram: Wendy.Gossett

37. Are You a Highly Sensitive, Impatient, or Angry Parent? Here are 3 Ways Enneagram Types 4, 6 and 8 Can Find Control, Calm and Connection

In this episode, we’re tackling a common struggle for many parents: reactivity—especially for those in the Enneagram reactivity triad: Types 4, 6, and 8. If you often feel frustrated or overwhelmed in those tough parenting moments, this episode is for you.
What you’ll learn today:
How to Hold Realistic Expectations for yourself and your child’s behavior.
How to Harness Your Triggers so they no longer control your reactions.
How to Heal Through Guided Thoughts, personalized for your Enneagram type.
If you’ve ever been told that you just need to be more patient, but it only makes you feel worse, this episode offers a fresh perspective. It’s not about squeezing out more patience—it’s about shifting your mindset and understanding your triggers to foster more peaceful, connected relationships with your kids. Tune in as we break down these tools and share practical mantras tailored for Types 4, 6, and 8!
 
Take my FREE child temperament test: https://wendygossett.com/child-inner-drive-assessment-product/
Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com
Facebook Podcast Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61565445936367
Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ
Instagram: Wendy.Gossett
Linked In: www.linkedin.com/in/wendygossett
 

36. Understanding the Reactivity Triad: How Types 4, 6 and 8 Express Emotions, Seek Attention, and 4 Ways to Help

Welcome back to our 9-part series on the Enneagram triads! In today’s episode, we’re diving into the Reactivity Triad, which includes Types 4, 6, and 8—personalities that tend to respond to stress with emotional intensity and immediate reactions. These types externalize their feelings when they don’t get what they want or when their needs are unmet, often displaying frustration, anxiety, or anger. We’ll explore the three key aspects of how these types cope: how they process emotions outwardly, why they react so strongly, and what they seek from others through their emotional responses.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
How Type 4s express deep emotional intensity, often seeking validation and understanding from others when they feel unseen or misunderstood.
How Type 6s react with anxiety and doubt, testing loyalty and seeking reassurance in moments of insecurity or uncertainty.
How Type 8s respond with assertiveness and anger, seeking strength and control in their environment to avoid feeling vulnerable.
We’ll also share four practical strategies to help you support your reactive child and navigate their emotional outbursts:
Acknowledge their feelings
Provide reassurance or understanding
Teach emotional regulation
Maintain your own calm presence
Join us as we uncover how these intense emotional reactions can be understood and managed, allowing for deeper connection and growth within the family.
Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com
Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting
Facebook Podcast Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61565445936367
Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ
Instagram is Wendy.Gossett
Linked In: www.linkedin.com/in/wendygossett
 
 
 

35. Understanding the Positive Outlook Types: Exploring Enneagram Types 2, 7, and 9

In this episode, "Understanding the Positive Outlook Types: Exploring Enneagram Types 2, 7, and 9," we kick off a 9-part series by diving into the Harmonic Triads of the Enneagram. We explore the Positive Outlook Triad, focusing on:
Type 2 (The Helper): Learn how Type 2s maintain harmony by focusing on others' needs, often neglecting their own, and how they can grow by embracing self-care and acknowledging their own emotions.
Type 7 (The Enthusiast): Discover how Type 7s avoid discomfort by seeking constant excitement and reframing negative experiences, and the importance of slowing down to engage with deeper emotions for personal growth.
Type 9 (The Peacemaker): Understand how Type 9s seek inner peace by avoiding conflict and focusing on positive experiences, and the necessity of stepping into their own needs to foster deeper connections.
Tune in to learn how understanding these patterns can lead to greater self-awareness, resilience, and a more fulfilling life.
Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com
Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting
Facebook Podcast Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61565445936367
Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ
Instagram is Wendy.Gossett
Linked In: www.linkedin.com/in/wendygossett

34. How Self Control Indicates Future Success; 3 Tactical Parenting Strategies From The Marshmallow Experiment.

Did you know that a simple marshmallow can predict your child's future success? In this episode, we dive into the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, a groundbreaking study packed with insights for parents. Here’s what you’ll learn:
The Power of Delayed Gratification: Understand how a child's ability to wait for a reward is linked to greater success in academics, health, and social skills.
Consistency Builds Trust and Self-Control: Discover how consistent parenting, with clear rewards and consequences, helps children develop the self-discipline needed for long-term achievements.
The Role of Clear Expectations: Learn why setting clear rules and guidelines is crucial for enhancing your child’s decision-making skills and ability to delay gratification.
We’ll also explore how personality plays into these dynamics and offer practical tips for parents. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to set their child on the path to a thriving future!
 
Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com
Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting
Facebook Podcast Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61565445936367
Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ
Instagram is Wendy.Gossett
Linked In: www.linkedin.com/in/wendygossett

33. Anxiety: Symptoms, Triggers and Coping Strategies with Dr. Jaylynne Koch

Tune in to Episode 33 of Not So Normal Parenting as Wendy discusses the important topic of childhood anxiety  with Dr. Jaylynne Koch, Developmental Psychologist, counselor and play therapist. 
Topics covered are:
How personality factors into anxiety.
Nontypical symptoms that may not look like anxiety.
How anxiety and ADHD can be interchangeable.
The four triggers: Physical, The Unknown, Incongruance and Shoulds.
Coping Strategies such as coregulation, externalizing, exposure therapy and attachment.
The importance of “special playtime”, consistency in parenting and managing transitions.
Dr. Jaylynne Koch  https://www.facebook.com/BloomBetween
What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner and Bonnie Matthews
The Worry Wars Paris Goodyear-Brown
Guide to Special Playtime Beth Richey, Tammi Van Hollander https://youtu.be/GBNB2IZhfOA?si=mm0Hz24ZGUU8BAAY
 
Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com
Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting
Facebook Podcast Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61565445936367
Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ
Instagram is Wendy.Gossett
Linked In: www.linkedin.com/in/wendygossett

32. Socially Awkward? Anxious? Defiant? Or ADHD? ENFP Dr. Brandon Talks About Symptoms and Treatment

I am so thrilled to have Dr. Brandon, pediatrician and founder of Colorado Kid's Pediatrics, to chat about how traits like social awkwardness, anxiety, defiance, OCD, homework struggles or impulsivity could be symptoms of ADHD.
 
This episode will be beyond helpful if you have a child that is exhibiting any of these traits: Many parents don't realize that all of these behaviors can be symptoms of ADD or ADHD which are on the rise due to all the stimulation children are experiencing in this generation of screens. In this episode we talk about:
 
Common trends Symptoms and how to get a diagnosis
Treatment, including:
parenting strategies,
diet,
acupuncture and acupressure,
medications and
personality factors like being an SP or and P type as well as a child with introverted sensing, introverted feeling or introverted intuition and a tendency to wander off inside their mind.
 
Dr. Brandon is founder of Colorado Kid's Pediatrics and Trekwise which is an integrated approach to behavioral health with quick and efficient telehealth sessions and affordable cost sharing.
Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com
Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting
Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ
Instagram is Wendy.Gossett
 

31. INTJ Enneagram Type 1 Mom and ENFP Type 7 Daughter: Parenting Your Opposite

In this eye-opening episode, we delve into the dynamic world of an INTJ Type 1 mother raising her free-spirited ENFP Type 7 daughter. With a focus on the contrasts and complements between the thinking and feeling brains, we explore how these personality types uniquely influence their parenting and child-rearing experiences. Shana, an INTJ mother known for her structured approach and keen sense of order, shares her personal journey towards understanding and embracing her daughter Savannah's exuberant and spontaneous ENFP personality. This episode sheds light on the challenges and triumphs of letting her free-spirited child learn valuable life lessons through experience, while also emphasizing the importance of parental self-awareness in fostering a nurturing environment for vastly different personalities.
 
Gain insights into:
Balancing Thinking and Feeling: Strategies for integrating a rational, organized approach with a need for emotional and creative expression, ensuring both mother and daughter thrive.
 
Embracing Free-Spirited Learning: How the mother has learned to loosen the reins and allow her daughter the freedom to explore the world, make mistakes, and grow from them in her own unique way.
 
Parental Self-Awareness: The crucial role of self-reflection in parenting, especially when dealing with personality types that starkly contrast with one's own. Shana discusses how understanding her own biases and limitations has been key to her growth as a parent.
 
Navigating Opposite Characteristics: A deep dive into the day-to-day interactions and long-term planning that come with managing differing needs and desires, highlighting both the struggles and the beautiful moments of connection.
 
Join us for a heartfelt and practical conversation that not only highlights the complexities of such diverse personality combinations but also provides real-world advice for parents facing similar challenges. Whether you’re an INTJ, ENFP, or any other personality type, this episode offers valuable lessons on patience, understanding, and love in the face of differences.
Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com
Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting
Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ
Instagram is Wendy.Gossett